I’ve been thinking about what I’ve been writing: I feel it is a good habit to write everyday, however, I think I’ll still only do it when I feel some motivation. I’m not some professional author here. This is just my personal complaint department and sometimes a spot to say what’s good.
On that note, I’ve got a busy week this one! Looking forward to getting interviewed, taking Friday off, and going out for the whole weekend with friends! I love Mondays! …Yeah still don’t love Monday. It’s still cold, dark, and I don’t want to go in today. It’s fine though. I’ll just grind through as usual. Maybe it’ll be more eventful today? It’s funny as I say that anymore with the full intention to leave. Still can’t say I feel too bad for the teams though as everyone seems to be quitting like its the hot new thing.
And that’s a very dead horse I’m hitting there.
I’m hoping the next time I’m writing here that I’ll have some good news!
I’m getting pretty bad at keeping up and posting regularly. I’ve been pretty busy with the rest of my life lately. Lot of stuff going on at home and at work. Luckily that means I’ve been keeping more focused…less time to mope about.
Better yet, things are starting to get busy for the better work wise…I’ll be out of there soon enough hopefully!
Looking forward to warmer weather and more fun times with friends as well. I’d wager to say that things are pretty good right now.
That was just a quick update as I really do want to keep posting and form a good habit of this. I really should re-read this post too and maybe do a bit of editing but #YOLO #YOWIO (You Only Write It Once)
Oh yeah… I’m also watching a few anime right now… I’ll be sure to post thoughts of those once I’ve gotten a bit further in. So far though, I really like Pastel Memories, Endro, Grimm’s Notes, and Mysteria Friends!
Time for the hump! It’s Wednesday again my dudes. Haha.
I’ve learned some interesting things from my previous day… Not only have we lost about five people in the very recent past months in my department, we may lose a few more still. My manager has even expressed interest in a very enticing contract with another company. I can’t say I blame him if they’re going to pay him more, give a very generous relocation stipend, move him to a beautiful location, and be a more interested environment in general. Nope can’t blame the guy. Well I’m grateful as well because he gave me a ton of advice regarding a place he worked before that is somewhere I am considering for the future. Mostly what I need to look for, what I might be interested in there, what types of benefits, and of course: what salary I should be looking for. I really do appreciate advice from people who genuinely want to help out.
I definitely am looking forward to the future now. Shame for now I’m stuck and it’s killing me. I’ll try and approach this day with the positive attitude I have from earlier. Can’t say whether that really makes much of a difference, but hey a guy can try?
Tuesday. That’s today. Two days down after this. Too (many) days.
Not much has changed in the past couple days. When I say not much I mean everything around me hasn’t changed. Same situation as before. Waiting on some interviewers to take me away to some work where I can feel validated. I get the suggestion to use the massive amounts of time i have at work to learn new skills or be more productive on my own from friends. Well if I was motivated to do so I would. I can’t seem to self motivate while I’m over there in that situation. Not really sure why it’s so much harder there. (Not that I go off any learn new skills at home either… I’m just more relaxed there.)
The problem is likely I need that direction and structure to feel validated with my work in addition to producing something of value. Not that what I’m supposed to be doing isn’t “valuable”…It’s just more of a service that ensures things are as they should be. It’s assurance. Not really my cup of tea I’ve found out.
I wonder how long it’ll take when I’m back in the software game to complain I have no downtime, work is hard, deadlines suck, and I don’t want to work with these new or different tools. I would probably guess maybe a two or three months? But I think that type of complaining is better? I don’t know if there’s anything I could ever do that I just wake up and want to do that long, but I think those inconveniences might be better than the lack of purpose from the current.
Oh and I also went with my girlfriend up to see some friends of ours from college over the weekend and we all went out to dinner. It was really fun. I had a great time seeing people and chatting. We really need to do more social events. And if not we, than at least I need to make the effort as it makes me happy to be around lots of people.
So I’ve been a bit less active on here and I really shouldn’t let myself fall into that habit of forgetting to write. It’s been an interesting few days this past couple.
My girlfriend and I bought a brand new car for her. Good decision at the time, now we’re filled with anxiety if it was the right call. I’m feeling better about it now at least. We could have found something cheaper, but this still fits in the budget between the two of us and its reassuring to have her driving with everything on the vehicle under warranty. Not to mention a ton of safety features. We’ll see if anything different occurs, but I’m less worried about this now at least because we really should have separate transportation. Worst case scenario is we lose money on something stupid. In the grand scheme of things I suppose money isn’t that important.
Our team lead quit at work. She’s going back to her old job with a pay bump and ditching our dysfunctional department. Good for her! I’m still stuck here a bit til my interview comes along. We all went to Chili’s and they did a round of shots. I did not partake as I did not feel I should be doing that in the environment where we work. I’m not stopping them thought.
Oh and I’ve been trying to do more things that make me feel happy! I’ve been reading a book before bed for 30 minutes to an hour as well as playing more video games! I just bought Hollow Knight on Nintendo Switch and I’m loving the game! Between that and watching some anime while playing OSRS, I’ve been a bit happier I think. Just gotta work on getting the job, getting everything with the girlfriend situated, and all my scheduled events!
So two amazing things have happened to me today. The first thing is that I was having a horrible time at work the other day as I often do, and decided to take today off. Wow the difference is incredible. I don’t feel this crushing pressure when I wake up, I feel rested, and I am not filled with anxiety.
Then again, that could also be a number of other reasons I feel okay today. Maybe I slept better? But hey, I’ll take the results. The second amazing thing that happened: I washed this one sweater of mine I hadn’t washed in over a year because it smelled horrible from sweat. I was deathly afraid that I’d ruin that sweater because it was hand-wash only. Super careful washing later and drying… It’s so snug and nice feeling again! I love it!
Anyways today is going to be a nice day of going to the DMV to finally change my license and then car shopping with the girlfriend as we won’t be able to get by on one car if I get that new job.
I’m really hoping there is a time in the near future where I don’t just complain about work constantly here. For now though, it seems to be the source of most of my frustrations and what’s messing up my mental stability.
So I had a lateral transfer to the department I’m in now. As you may know from my previous rants, this did not work out as well as I’d hoped. Well it’s more annoying too as I could have left it early, but I didn’t get to experience anything to leave off other than the environment. And I mean I didn’t experience anything. The lack of tasks is still stifling. But now they’re trying to fix that and it seems I’m gonna get a bit swamped. That’s okay, but I now know the work itself is pretty awful too!
Add on to this that I was looking to move out of this department earlier and those contacts are getting back to me! And I have even more suggestions now! I just wish I wasn’t being ramped up onto so much right now…especially as there’s a large attrition going on right now and they need the manpower. Of course you shouldn’t be loyal just to a company as you need to do what is best for you…but I feel that kind of thing applies mostly when leaving to external jobs, not internal transfers where you will still be within the same facility as the ones you are ditching. Makes it a bit awkward.
It’s gonna be a hectic day as I know one gentleman is getting back to me with trying to bring me over to his team. I need to tell him that I have to work out a timeline with my team to have that happen and they don’t know I want out. That’s gonna be a bit awkward. Oh and while I’m doing all this shuffling around I’m applying to another company that I think might be a better experience.
So this leaves me with a few options…
If I jump internally to a different area, it could be better but awkward with previous coworkers at the same company.
If I transfer internally and jump ship, that’ll look rather bad on me if I ever return to the company later in my career.
If I stay where I’m at, I have no guarantee of getting the new position, however likely I feel I am able to get in.
Pretty sure this is what they call “Catch-22”. I really should read that book sometime.